Hi Doll Friends!
Thanks so so so much for the kind words of encouragement so many of ya'll sent me after my
last post, they really mean a lot to me! I am happy to report I am feeling better and better and while I still feel like I am walking in a 'valley' in my life, I am getting to where I can see the incline to the mountain again. Maybe I'm not climbing yet but I can see it and that, after the last few months, is improvement! Sometimes improvement is all you can ask for, eh? I'd like to tell you more details about the reasoning behind my post and/or who it is that hurt me and made me question myself and my worth in the first place... However, my disclosing that information would likely just beget even more drama and I'm just wanting the drama to die down and be over. I promise I won't delete my blog... I've been really sporadic about posting for the last few months and that is bad enough! When I would get the inclination to come delete it I know it was just the enemy (or satan or whatever name you want to give the father of lies) trying to get in my head and make me go against what God originally told me to do.
That story is a good one. About five years ago, I went to my
annual womens retreat thru my church and my prayer all weekend was to get a 'word' from God.
Be careful what you pray for I guess because God showed up, as He does, but with only
ONE WORD. The word?
"Write"
I'm like "Write?! Ok, but write what?!?"
I'd started my doll blog a year before but had kind of ran out of steam in writing it after an argument with a person I thought was my friend who gave me all manner of grief about the
name of my blog.
Penniless Caucasian Rubbish was my chosen nom'de'plume from clear back in my Myspace days... I explained how it came to be in the post I just linked to. However, my friend took it as some manner of slight or something because it contained the word 'caucasian' and... Well... Sadly, after much trying to mend, we stopped being friends. It kind of
ruined the fun for me for my little blog and I just stopped in January of 2014. I didn't really know what else to write about though... I mean, I'd written loads of
somewhat depressing poetry and that is where my pen name came from originally... But poetry isn't something I 'actively' write, it's more like words that come into my head, unbidden, and I just capture them and write them down. Not something I can force really...
So... Being as I had already started the doll blog and that I still loved dolls so much I thought, "Well, it's writing and God being who He is, perhaps He can use a doll blog to His glory somehow...?"
I figured I'd at least follow what He told me to do until He gave me a different direction with it.
So, low and behold, God being who He is, He has made some amazing things happen in my life from this little blog. I've met a couple of friends here over our mutual love of dolls and I am certain they will be friends for my entire lifetime. I have also, as much as I can without being obnoxious about it, tried to share Jesus's love here and how much He means to me.
One of the more delightful places I've found that this shared the Gospel and Jesus's love was a
Podcast from Kenneth Frankly where he talks about my blog and him liking it and, then at the end of what he talks about, he repeats something the Holy Spirit told me to write the day that he happened to use it in his podcast; "Jesus loves you" at the end of what he talked about. It literally made my day/week/year when I heard it. He starts talking about it at 11:29mins in and portion about the blog runs till 15:10mins in. I just listened to it again and it
made me smile again. So give it a listen to it again if you are so inclined.
WARNING: It has a bit of curse words in it. But it still makes me smile that someone who I likely never would have thought would like my blog enjoys it.
It really touched my heart.
If you still read Kenneth Frankly, Hi! Thanks for the mention. 💗
I've also heard from many other readers that they appreciate my blog and it's been a very amazing thing in my life to meet other people who love dolls as much as I do. The internet makes the world such a small place!
So, thank you dear readers, for your words of encouragement all along thru the time I've written here. Especially on my most recent post! I mean to come and answer all those sweet comments one by one but am still treading water in my real life and haven't had a chance yet. Don't think I haven't read them and that they haven't really really helped me feel better because they have!!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
All the photos here are of items I've 'left behind' lately at thrift stores... I didn't really get into the details but this will have to be one of those 'let the photo tell the story' times because I have got to go herd the cats take the teens to high school!
Thanks so much again dear readers! I promise I will never ever delete this blog no matter how crummy I might feel about myself at any given moment.
Love ya'll to the moon and back!
XXOO
Heather
PS I've been trying all day to get this to post... For some reason it would niether post nor save and I finally had to resort to copying the whole text and pasting it into a different draft paragraph by paragraph. So I am actually posting this at like 8:09PM :)
