Greetings and Salutations Doll Friends,
No, I'm not dead.
Life nearly killed me recently with it's painful heartbreak but...
I'm still here.
It's been one of those 'rock your entire identity to the core' kind of a few weeks (months?) but...
I'm still here.
That's about all I got with regards to much lately.
I'm still here.
If not for Jesus, that wouldn't be the case.
I'd have been broken into a million little pieces with no hope at all of ever being put back together again. But I showed up at church over and over again during those weeks and praised Him in the storm and, being Jesus, He showed up right there and walked me thru it.
It's still raining but the storm clouds have cleared a bit, if you will.
And
I'm still here.
One fallout of the hell-storm I found myself in was to question my worth at all...
I mean I know of my identity in Jesus, as His daughter and that alone was enough to make me get out of bed at all in the last few weeks.
Beyond that though, I have been questioning my worth, my intellect, my appeal at all in any way...
I still am.
More than once I came here to just delete my entire blog because I felt ashamed of it by seeing it through the eyes of some of the human beings who hurt me crushed my soul into the dirt.
(People or 'family' who were/are supposed to love me...)
Jesus kept reminding me, when I got here to delete it, that He was the one who originally told me to write it. It occurs to me as I type that that perhaps I've never told that story here... It's a pretty great story and good testimony so if I haven't, I'll have to do that sometime soon.
In any case, I am still here.
Sometimes that is the best you can do in life, just keep showing up.
I'm still here.
During this miserable valley of my life some small part of me still loved dolls.
In an attempt to make myself happy for a nano-second during that time, I noted that Target had a sale on all thier Our Generation stuff. I might have gone a bit overboard since I bought three dolls but... Oh well...
As I said in this post Our Generation has really outdone themselves this year with their new dolls. I loved this face sculpt when they released it last year with Blue. I have her here with the three new dolls with the same face sculpt as she has.
These are some of the first doll photos I've taken in weeks... I had to force myself to do them. But once I got started I kind of enjoyed it. Which is saying something lately.
They came in two shipments... The first was the light blonde with light blue eyes. I opened her without even taking photos because... I am out of sorts and can't keep order in anything lately.
When these two came, I literally didn't even open the Target box itself for days and days...
Just kept hearing, from the mean voices in my head, that my whole hobby life was a total joke and why bother...
But I finally did open them. And even re-dressed them in some of the adorable dresses I got from Frann once upon a time...
These are photos I took when I opened the blonde gal (above)... Not much to them, just threw a background up and snapped a few photos.
Dolls were not my only purchase at the sale either... I bought this accessories set too. I have finally opened it but it is just sitting there waiting for me to be inspired enough to do something with it.
I'm sure I'll feel like it eventually.
So for those of you who are the praying sort, I'd love it if you could lift me up in prayer. That I can continue to walk through this valley in my life... Until I get through it.
Thanks!
Gotta run.
XXOO
Heather
PS This song has been on repeat for nearly a week... It's my anthem for this valley...
