Hi Doll Friends,
Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I think I've mentioned this before
here a little bit but I can't recall exactly what I've said? Suffice to say I have a bit of a mood disorder (or a few actually *sigh*) that I have been dealing with (for good or for ill) since my teens. Then in the winter I also add to the battle
SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Well, for whatever reason, this year is
exceptionally bad. I've been trying to '
push through' as I've done in the past but not being nearly as successfully as I would like.
It's uncanny... Nearly every day, for weeks now, I'll wake up, read my One Year Bible section, take my walk, do my yoga, get the
cat's herded teenagers to school and
all during that time, I plan, in my head, to come here and 'catch up' with blog posts. However, when I am down like I've been lately,
every single thing I do, and I am not trying to exaggerate really,
seems twice as hard as it normally does. Almost like I'm trying to walk thru quick sand or something.
No fun and exhausting, still I, day after day, resolve that 'today' is the day I am going to get 'all the things' done. Then, after I get my morning routine done and perhaps a few hours of bookwork for my job or housework,
I just fizzle out. All I can do is think to myself "how long until I can go to sleep?!" for the rest of the day... Almost like my bed has a
siren call and tries to pull me in or something.
One of the things that is exhausting, or really the very thing I guess,
is the really horrible intrusive self depreciating thoughts. They are
never ending and oh-so-mean because, obviously, my 'demons' know exactly how to get to me and
they are relentless. What are the thoughts? Oh golly, nothing I can say here really. I'll link you to
one or
two of my poems about them on my sister page and perhaps that will explain it better. Although it's almost like a self-feeding thing. The worse I feel, the worse I 'do', the worse I feel about not 'doing' as much as I know I am capable of when I am well, the worse I feel and down into a spiral... Then, once I get mired down by the depression it's like having walked into a pit of black tar... I try to walk out but it's sticky dark threads keep my feet from moving and the harder I fight, the more stuck I get. Like I say,
no fun and exhausting.
When I am mentally strong enough to fight the demons enough to even feel worthy enough (really, it can get that bad...) I pray for Jesus to banish all mind-bending spirits and every single time He does. I mean, sometimes the peace is short lived but I guess there are worse things than to need to run to Jesus in nearly constant prayer... I've always seen that as the best silver lining to having a mood disorder in the first place. My faith in Jesus is absolutely unshakeable because I've literally been completely consumed by negative thoughts, sobbing and paralized essentially. My husband will pray over me (when I'm not too stubborn to let him know how big a mess I am, or if he finds me that way when he comes home from work or whatever) and I can literally feel the 'demons' leaving... Like when clouds clear and you can see the sun after a really heavy storm. That's what it's like. It's happened many many times... He isn't an 'out loud' prayer and so it's not like I hear him doing it either. I just know because I know my torture is abated for a while.
Anyway, so I am apparently in the middle of a lucid moment and here to say hi and show you some of the things I've seen and scored at thrift stores lately... The dolls in the first few photos (above) were just dolls I saw and thought looked interesting. Didn't have time that day to look them over closer as I recall.
A little colt.... I have several so I didn't buy him... Even though, should I have unlimited space, I'd probably by all the colts and have a huge barn full of them. Hahaha. Thank goodness I don't have unlimited space, huh?
I almost bought this and now am kicking myself wondering why I didn't...
I thought it'd make a great doll desk.
Another one where I am like "WHY didn't I BUY that?!"
It would've been great for school classrooms and also for the diner...
*sigh*
These chairs were adorable... But I think I was short on cash that day and I think they were like $5 each.
Another great doll dresser...
Oh, here is the one I thought would make a great desk (above) closed. I'd go and fix the photo order but I just looked at the time and am under the gun to get this posted before I have to leave in seven minutes!!
A doll I didn't buy on a bed I didn't buy.... Wanted to show you the bed and used the doll for size reference.
More beautiful equine! I'm telling you, it's good I don't have a ginormous house!
They had them priced way too high anyway... You can get them new for like $35 so I think $12 is nuts. But I am cheap and blessed with a plethora of local thrift stores.
This one was 'only' $8 because it didn't have a saddle I imagine...
Another colt!!
Another horse!
Again, in my opinion, priced too high.
Cute little dolls...
Another cutie... I feel so badly for all the
forlorn porcelain dolls. So many get put on these shelves rather haphazardly and end up getting broken and likely thrown away.
I thought she had a cute face.
Another pretty doll.... She was a little larger than a Barbie but in porcelain.
Another salon chair... I have three already so... It stayed at the store.
Pretty face on this angel doll.
Cool kitchen cubboard. Again with the "why didn't I buy that again?"
I have to remember I can't buy 'all the things'.
Cute little vases.
Cute doll sized pitcher.
Cute vintage baby doll.
A cute doll sized mug.
And another one...
More cute doll furniture. This would've been so cute with little doll sized coats hanging on it.
Now, what I did buy... I got both the swing and the trike for $2 each I think...
I still can't decide if I think they are a good scale for the dolls at all... I think the trike is a bit too large and the swing a bit too small. But I bought them anyway, obviously. LOL
See, a doll will fit in the swing but not very well...
I got this fabulous bag of doll clothes!
Here are the clothes that were included. I was SUPER stoked about the cafe uniform. I've wanted that one a long time...! The Snowpants are awesome too and the little flowered dress is so pretty.
This is the accessories that were in it. Three helmets! A life vest! Shoes! A guitar!! Crutches and a cast! Such a great deal and find!
It's bags like this that keep me going into thrift stores, I'm telling you.
These little caps were only 25c each! They were in the baby section but they fit the dolls like a dream. I'll have to take a photo.
This is some fabric I couldn't pass up. I keep hoping to have the inclination and energy to start sewing doll clothes again. I really do enjoy it. It's like my fanciful dream of being a fastion designer when I was a girl come true! I get to choose the fabrics and the styles! What could be better? Just gotta get out from under these dark clouds... They'll clear up eventually. They always do.
I better run.
Thanks for your faithful reading, it really is so nice to know
that I have doll friends out there in the world!
Much love!
XXOO
Heather
